The Gingerbread Army

Christmas cards are honestly a waste of money, I mean if you are going to see the recipient of the card on a regular basis, why would you give them a piece of paper that rarely ever says more than: their name, your name and a gimmicky Christmas slogan thought up by the card manufacturers.

Before you go all ”Bah Humbug”  I don’t really have anything against Christmas or even the avalanche of post that it causes, it’s lovely to hear from far flung friends and to receive the yearly newsletter letting you know what all these people that you once knew have been up to. But with the cost of postage rising we have had to become more inventive with our season’s greetings. Cue the tale of the gingerbread men.

Assemble the troops

Sadly many lives were lost in the battle of the oven, with an amputation here and a broken leg there the soldiers were not considered fit for battle and were sent on leave. These amputations were, of course, not intentional so that I could eat the comrades and when I say that the militia were sent on
leave I don’t mean sent to a life imprisonment in my tummy. 

With the baking process out of the way my attentions were turned to decorating the gingerbread men, although I wasn’t quite sure what exactly would be needed for the decoration of gingerbread men.

Everything you will ever need to decorate Gingerbreadmen

If you have ever seen Shrek and if you haven’t where have you been the past decade? Hiding under a rock? Then you will know that gum drop buttons are absolutely essential in the dressing of a gingerbread man. However it would seem that Jelly Tots are nigh on near impossible to find and trust me I went to quite a few places to look for them. 

With the ultimate gingerbread man decorating kit assembled it was time to begin- although I’m still not quite sure what the use of the foamy bananas was.

I established pretty soon that this decorating lark wasn’t really for me (read icing EVERYWHERE) I tried to use strawberry laces for the hair of one poor gingerbread man and it suffices to say that it ended up looking like a scary Scottish person, a bit like the ones you see in Braveheart. I instead opted to use the laces to make angry eyebrows, that didn’t work either.

Once the gingerbread men were each individually wrapped, each with a ribbon they were ready to be hand delivered, but not in a regular fashion, oh no, for there is a crazy woman walking around town wearing a teapot hat and yielding a basket. 

The gingerbread recipe used is as follows: (I doubled this recipe to make my army but when I tried tripling it I had so much gingerbread that it was literally coming out of my ears)

100g flour

1 tsp ground ginger

½ tsp ground cinnamon

4 tbsp golden syrup

3tbsp light brown sugar

50g butter

½ tsp baking powder

1 egg beaten 

Preheat the oven to 180°c

In a large mixing bowl sift the flour, cinnamon and ginger together.

In a saucepan combine the golden syrup, brown sugar and butter. Heat slowly, stirring occasionally until thoroughly melted.

Stir  the baking powder into the melted mixture before adding to the dry ingredients along with the beaten egg and mix to a dough.

Leave to rest in the fridge for 30 minutes. 

Knead the dough on a floured surface until it is smooth and free from cracks. Roll and cut and mould into shape. The thickness to which you roll the mixture depends entirely on preference but I prefer a thinner, crispier gingerbread man. 

Bake for 10-20 minutes until golden brown