Dear Anxiety

When struggling with anxiety and especially social anxiety being around other people; especially lots of people can be intimidating and often quite terrifying to be honest.

Social occasions are for me are often something that should be avoided at all costs but you would be wrong to think that I was avoiding you because I want to.

Those with social anxiety (or maybe it's just me) shut people out as a defence mechanism but that can lead to a very lonely existence and losing touch with the people with whom you were once closest too.

When you feel inadequate and like a bit of waste of space then even when you are in a room with dozens of people you can feel quite alone. If somebody talks to you it makes you wonder why they are wasting their time on someone like you and you desperately want  to be invisible. 

I have anxiety but I am not letting that defeat me…even though it's putting up quite a good fight.  I've already found some strategies for coping and even some natural remedies but what else?

Being the centre of attention makes me feel uncomfortable  as do large crowds but you know what I've found that I can deal with? Being in a crowded room where nobody pays you any attention.

I've been going to a lot of gigs over the past few years and whilst I have been alone for the great majority of these (what can I say, I am alone) I have found that I can tolerate being in the room, where ever it may be with just the music and shut everyone else out.

It's not been exactly plain sailing as I've had to leave early on quite a few occasions as I couldn't cope anymore and there was that one time…..ok maybe twice…when I had a little bit of an anxiety attack but I'm still trying.

So dear anxiety, you ain't the boss of me.